By: Ridhika Mishra, Delhi Public School, Bokaro.
Though many of my readers may not be familiar with the word ‘feminism’ but on reading it for the you may realize that you are a part of it. Feminism is the belief that men and women have equal rights and opportunities. It’s about giving women a choice. There may be different opinions of different feminists but the core remains the same: to fight patriarchy .But there are women who are totally patriarchal, who do nasty things to other women and on the other hand there are men working for women’s rights their whole life. But feminism does not mean suppressing the other sex be it men, partners or husbands. Feminism is not biological – it is an ideology. At the same time feminism is not dogmatic. All I want to do is make you think about it. We are still bound by stereotypes about how men and women should behave. So whenever one sex shows signs of the other one, society starts giving them tags like ‘brave like a man’ or ‘don’t cry like a woman’ . I feel genuinely disturbed by the idea that ‘men cannot cry’. I really feel sorry for the magic cannot express themselves or talk about how they actually feel. Being emotional is not what makes you a girl. It is this suppressed sorrow that gives rise to their aggression. It is this immense pressure which when lost control gives birth to violent manhood. Men and women are not two different groups. If at all there are groups in our society, it is of equality and inequality. Interesting, if a man demonstrates so called ‘feminime’ qualities it is looked down upon. But if a woman has ‘masculine qualities’ it raises her standards in the society.
If a man speaks about injustice in the society, he is revered as a hero, but if a women does it she is called break but ‘like a man’. This is double standard applied for women. Everyone wants to be brave and independent but whenever there is an act of bravery it isn’t that a man has done it. The biggest example of this is Rani Lakshmibai is often said to have fought bravely like a man. Why do we forget that courage has nothing to do with gender?
It is shocking to see girls or women pointing to other women and judging them. We are so mean and so and unsupportive to each other. For me being beautiful is not about how your body looks; it’s a certain comfort level, an inner confidence, to be at peace with yourself, to discover that you have a whole world within you; to enjoy who you are and still be impressed to be much more to be able to recognize yourself and never ever feel lonely when you are alone. Being ‘beautiful’ is letting yourself live and grow and discover different aspects of beauty. But as mentioned earlier, every woman has the freedom of choice and what I said are my views on beauty. Moreover, a huge part of being a feminist is giving other woman the freedom to make choices you might not necessarily make yourself. Dress code only enforces the idea that girls should ‘cover up’ because ‘boys will be boys’. I don’t understand if men were shorts, the idea is ‘garmi hai’ while if women wear shorts, the idea is ‘sanskaro ki kami hai’. Rules set up for boys and girls are arbitrary. They are socially determined. Instead think about political, social, cultural and economical inequality on every level; about internalized misogyny, victim blaming and the beauty standard. Women are often reminded of their gender everywhere for every action which I believe should be stopped. Because being a woman does not stop me from doing anything which the society thinks that only a man can do.
Becoming yourself is really hard and confusing. It’s a process. But I have found that ultimately if you truly pour your heart into what you believe in , even if it makes you vulnerable, amazing things can and will happen. And never ever forget that being bold and open-minded does not mean that you are characterless. Inside you there is a power, there are ideas and thoughts no one has ever thought of. There is strength to change lives and futures. Don’t forget that power and don’t ever give up on it. We are capable of doing amazing things. Admire it. Challenge it.
