Once upon a time, in the prosperous kingdom of Amerigo, there lived a king named Donald the Deal-Maker, famous for three things: his golden hair, his love of big announcements, and his belief that he alone could fix everything with one simple idea.
One morning, the king woke up convinced that the kingdom was losing money because traders from far-off lands were selling things too cheaply. “They are cheating us!” he thundered, pointing dramatically out of the castle window, though he wasn’t entirely sure who they were — just that it sounded impressive.
So King Donald announced a grand new rule in the castle square:
“From today, anyone selling goods from outside Amerigo must pay a Tariff Toll! Everyone pays more — 10%, 25%, 50% if I feel like it!”
The royal trumpet sounded. The crowd gasped. The pigeons stayed indifferent.
At first, the king felt very proud. He pictured factories roaring back to life, workers cheering his name, and enemy kingdoms trembling at his brilliance.
But then, something strange happened.
The royal merchants returned to the castle, red-faced and frantic.
“Sire! Our supplies cost more now! Nails, steel, cars, coffee, even toilet seats — everything is expensive!” they cried.
The king blinked. “Well, just stop importing and make it here,” he said confidently, even though he knew the factories for many things no longer existed.
Meanwhile, the ordinary villagers of Amerigo noticed their coins disappearing faster. Bread was pricier, shoes cost more, and even their beloved shiny gadgets from the Land of Silicon were suddenly unaffordable.
Villagers complained that their pockets felt lighter. The king replied:
“This is the cost of greatness!”
They were not entirely sure greatness should come with an entry fee.
In faraway kingdoms, rulers who once traded peacefully with Amerigo grew annoyed. They slapped taxes on Amerigo’s goods in revenge. Soon, a full-blown tariff food-fight erupted across the globe. Only lawyers and economists seemed happy — for the first time in centuries, everyone wanted to hire them.
Finally, when the unrest reached the palace gates, the king made a new proclamation:
“We will reduce tariffs on some foods — like beef and coffee — because I love the people!”
The crowd cheered, though quietly wondered why their clothes, cars, and tools were still so expensive.
And that was the moment the king learned a great moral:
When you build a tariff tower too tall, you’re the first one to pay the elevator fee.
But like all fables, it ends with a lesson carved in the marble of the palace:
Trade wars are easy to start — and very expensive to win.
The king nodded solemnly, then smiled and declared:
“Next, we build a wall around the marketplace!”
And the pigeons remained, as always, unimpressed.
